my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
