girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
