just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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