Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
