So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
