just tell him i said nine months
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
