This is not my ceiling
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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