Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Randomize
