I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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