Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
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