Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
