she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Who put my cat in the fridge?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
