im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
my liver is dry heaving
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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