Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
