it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
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Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
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So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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