therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
