please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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