found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
