Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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