How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
