I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Randomize
