Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
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