So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Randomize
