How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
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