3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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