they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
