College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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