New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
