Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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