I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I cockslap morals
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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