hell yes lets make some ravioli
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Randomize
