did you get engaged???
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
