I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
