Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I touched a dick in church today
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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