I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
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