so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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