I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
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