Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize