Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
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your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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