Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
