Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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