You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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