We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
