There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
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