the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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