I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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