What did we do last night that was yellow?
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
