Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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