i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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