I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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