I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
