Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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