no you cant smoke seaweed
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
