I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
