hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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