I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
