After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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