so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
bring money and cleavage
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
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