just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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