pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
