dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
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