dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
